Where have you always dreamed of going with your spouse, once the timing is better?

Once the kids are older, once you have more money, once the house is done, once the house is sold, once the kids are in college, once they are out of college, once you find a better excuse.

For my bride and I, we always dreamed of getting remarried in Australia, and I had the crazy idea of doing it on the top of the Sydney bridge. Then it happened, I was invited to speak at an amazing event in Sydney! Want to know what my first reaction was?

Believe it or not, it was not positive, I felt the time wasn't right, our teens had too many activities going, I had lot happening in my other businesses, the plane ride was going to be too long, on and on I went in my mind until.... 

I mentally slapped myself and said, wait a minute, I have been dreaming of this moment for at least 10 years and now it's here, what's the challenge?

The simple truth is, I had envisioned it happening when everything was...

Have you ever wondered why it’s so hard to get your spouse to do certain things? You know the ones I’m talking about. Year after year it’s the same result, no matter what you do or say, they don’t do it, what gives?

The simple truth is, a Happily Ever After marriage is like two railroad cars. You may be thinking that’s an odd analogy but stay with me. When two railroad cars come together they “couple” or become linked. Once connected, they can handle massive amounts of weight and stress while holding firm to each other. However before they can pull each other along, they have to be connected properly.

You maybe trying to pull your spouse to greatness, but you will stay frustrated with your lack of results unless, you truly connect. You have to connect before you can pull. Even if your spouse has given you the green light to help them in a certain area, without a solid connection, the railroad car isn’t going anywhere. Or...

Evan, it seems like every time we get in an argument, my spouse brings up the past, how do we move past this once and for all?

The simple truth is, your spouse does not feel Seen, Heard or Recognized. Once they feel validated they won’t bring it up anymore. Before you tell me you have already apologized, multiple times, I believe you. Please understand, it’s not what you do, it’s how you do it!  If you didn't give a restorative apology, then it's the same as not apologizing at all.  The sad thing is, 99% of us were never taught how to give a restorative apology.

If you were like me, you came from a normal dysfunctional family, restorative apologies were not modeled with my Mom & Dad and their multiple divorces. Even if you were one of the rare few who came from a functional loving home, most couples never discover the most critical tools in communication.

The good news is, you don't need a marriage therapist or a counselor, a restorative apology is...